Following Directions: Retirement isn’t so bad.

Isn’t it funny sometimes how bad news can invigorate you, make you re-evaluate how you do things, why you do things and give you new meaning and direction?

I’ve changed direction.

I’ve retired from Ironman racing.

Hey it’s no big deal, when one door closes, others open and as long as you can walk through them how is that a bad thing?

The final results from my recent medical tests weren’t the positive outcome that I had hoped for, but I guess they were what I had expected. Extensive damage to the patella tendon and bone spurs on the actual patella and tibia. That would explain the pain when I’ve been running. It is an injury that stems from childhood, one that I’ve been dealing with each time that I run, only recently my gait changed to try and balance the pain and I made the situation worse. In the future I hope to be running again, actually sod the hope, I KNOW I will be running again. It won’t however be a marathon as that would just be too much destruction on an already unstable joint. So that kind of rules out an Ironman. I had come to terms with this scenario over the past few months, at first I was down but then I looked on the positive side of things – I’ve done what I wanted, I’ve had fun and by evolving as a Triathlete I’ll still be able to do what I love whilst spending much needed time with my family. Part of me still clung to the hope that I’d be able to race long and I’d negotiated with Emma that if the Dr gave me good news I’d be coming home to enter Ironman Lanzarote for 2014…but it wasn’t to be.

So where do i go from here?

I change, I rebuild, I learn and I keep moving forward.

No matter what happens I will not attempt to run again until I’ve lost 2 stones in weight as this will ease the pressure on my knee, that is common sense really. I start work with a great Physio called James this Friday. I met him last week for an assessment and he is also a triathlete, so understands my concerns and ambition. His thoughts were that given the weakness in my knee he’ll be looking at my feet and hips also and teaching me how to stand, how to walk and then down the line how to run. It will be boring, there will be exercises but he’ll get me where I want to be.

His other advice was “Blitz the swimming” – so that is what I intend to do.

Training wise I don’t think I’ve had this much fun in ages, there is no pressure, no programme to follow, no huge race looming. I’m loving it. Being up and out on the bike for a few hours at 5am now seems like the normal thing to do. 70 miles on the bike on Sunday was a breeze. Jumping in the lake and  swimming around in circles has never been so enjoyable. I’m being strict with my diet as I want to run again, but it’s not a chore its all part of the map that will lead me back to Triathlon.

I’m following the directions, they just lead down a different path.